Devil in a Loin Cloth

Hey Sean, I think the fellow in the picture is Lucia's fantasy dude “grass grazer” or something. But he is obviously not playing Native American, he is playing Pan (Native European). Take your eyes off his body and loin cloth bulge for a second and note the little horns on his head.

Note on Pan: Pan is one of the principle Pagan Male Deities. Paganism was the religion of the Europeans before they were colonized by Romans, English etc. Pan has horns on his head, is half man half beast (thus the loin cloth bulge), and was known to seduce women at night with his multiple charms which, as a point of trivia, included flute playing. In other words he got laid ALL THE TIME. The early christian church, made up mostly of guys who bunked together and either preferred men or had trouble getting laid, demonized Pan into the christian horned devil we know today. Don’t be fooled by the propaganda. The devil is actually a good guy.

But I digress, more importantly, in regard to Your Fat Issues. I see 3 options:

1. Diet And Exercise
2. Anorexia and Bulimia
3. Learn to love your love handles.

I recommend combining 1 and 3 with a strong emphasis on 3 (Think laughing Buddha- he is not looking in the mirror wishing he looked like Brad Pitt and disparaging his own body, he is wearing a loin cloth and laughing his ass off with the world).

Best of Luck.
Love and Peace.
Mr L.